My hands are my favorite feature. Long and slender, they spread between me and the world. They have grown callus, touching and touched my hardship and resistance. They are my lifeline to this world.
My eyes have seen only a fraction. Once twisted and warped by chemicals beyond my control, they were set right and aligned to view the world correctly again. They still blur at the edges, creating clouds on sunny days, but I’ve learned to ignore the clouds and appreciate the sunshine.
My muscles have grown strong, pulled and pushed over a few years of hard work and sweat. They scream at me from time to time but yield to my desires and become shaped to my goals. They are a work in progress, in a process that will last the rest of my life. I’m a clay yet to be sculpted.
My skin hangs from my bones, yearning to be set free. I wish to part with my flesh, change my body to fit myself.
My feet are long and tired. They make me an octopus when I walk, clinging to surfaces for better traction. They have been broken and reset, made to hold me up, tall and proud. They are my fractured foundation.
I am my body, at times. Some days, I’m freer than my body. Some days, I’m trapped in a flesh unwilling to adapt to my will. I struggle to see the good in a body, the worth of flesh, the physical being contained in a cage of its own making. I do not wish to rid myself of this cage but make it better with time and effort. I am stronger than these irons bars that hold me. I’ll reshape this cage into a being of my own making. A self-made man. I’ll create myself anew and walk among the world a new man.
I wrote this prose poetry piece the other day and I’d thought I’d share it here. I have an evolving relationship with my own body. I’m working out more and trying to shed pounds I gained in lockdown. I’m excited for this new chapter in my life.
Jack Claussen 